me

Who am me any who?

Well...Rick Saunders. Christer. Libra. Born 26September 1960 (yeah that makes me forty somethin' years old...what about it?) in Spokane Washington. Born to a woman ( to this day still unknown to me) who already had five kids and did not feel she could care for another as she was seperated from her husband at the time.. Adopted through Childrens Home Society to Harold "Tobe" Saunders and Sue Saunders who had previously been kind enough to adopt two other children (a boy first then a girl) and another after me (another girl). Grew up in Pullman, a small University/Agricultural town in rural eastern Washington state.

Relatively normal child hood. Spent lot's of time at the library. Suffered the usual slings and arrows of the local school system. Worked various jobs from age 12 mowing lawns to ages 14-18 working at a slew of various restaraunts where I learned to cook. Started playing drums at around age 13 probably due to overexposure to the long version of inna-gadda-da-vida. Actually I always liked the drums but my brother played trumpet in the P.H.S. Pep Band back in the day when horn bands like Chicago (before they sucked) and Tower of Power were happening. My parents wanted me to play trumpet. And when considering trumpet vs drums vs practice what parent wouldn't? The Pep Band had two drummers with full drum kits and they would have a "drum war" during half-time. I don't need to tell you the power two drummers wailing full-on in a louder-than-hell gymnasium have on a powerless young mind. So I started started a band as soon as I was able after that with the late Rick Herdering who played guitar. First song learned was Thin Lizzy's Jail Break (I was at my parents lake place when my dad called to tell me that Rick,who had been in jail, killed himself. I went down to the dock to think about it and shortly after a boat cruised slowly by the dock blasting Jail Break). At some point took to hangin' out at the local record store enough that they finally gave me a job. Worked there for just shy of ten long years till the ex-coke head boss/beast of darkness finally got out of prison (again) for sellin' dope "let me go" so he could dissassociate himself from those (regardless) in his past. It's true how addicts go from dope addiction to 12step addiction. Went home the day he fired me and my horoscope said "You May Be Saying Free At Last. Yup. Anyway. Got into the travel biz after that. Slingin' tickets and such. Still playing in inumerable bands.Started hangin' with my future wife's brother. Occasionally drinkin' at Shermers (a fine bar in the good ol' orange Tijuana- tuck-n-roll-booth tradition and located across the gravel parking lot from my old place on the corner of High and Paradise streets...I kid you not...that was the address) . Met Leslie there at Shermers one night. Turned out we 'd known of each other for ages and even had mutual friends but the paths had not crossed. Began a long distance romance in December with me in Pullman and her on the other side of the state in Seattle. Played in skads of cool bands that played eastern Washington blues which we later were told was grundge. Whatever that is. Just turned out there was a load of guys who grew up diggin' Aerosmith AND the Sex Pistols. But we warmed up for Screaming Trees and Tad and U-Men and Blood Circus and etcetc. Me n' ol'Leslie got hitched in August of that year. Moved to Seattle. Still workin' the travel thang. Started a band with my first high school girlfriend Diana Swisher-Baker called Barbeau which broke up after a year or so and the mocking of success. Started a band with a couple of my old friends from back home (Jim Friesz and Vic Hudak) called Host which broke up after a couple years of pummeling the occasional seattle crowd. Jim and I kept at it and brought in Diana (bands are sooo incestous) to play bass. Played some gigs as BackHoe till Leslie and I moved to Gainesville Florida so she could get her Masters Degree in Fine Arts. So here we are. After two years of trying to start a band i'm in a cool rockabilly/ya'llternative country band called dblWiDE which has been together just a few months but we're beginning to see some action. So life is mostly good. We miss our friends and family a lot but we go home when we can or they come here or someplace in-between and for that we are thankful. But sometimes I do get a little homesick for the beautiful Palouse countryside. The rolling hills of wheat and lentils and peas and canola (nobody likes to call it rape seed). Fortunatly the local paper is online so I can check and see whats up...ya' know...see if we got another McD's or see if anything has burned down. I mostly miss going down to the Snake River and walking the hills or sitting on the rocks by the water. It's a peaceful and beautiful place as long as the students from WSU aren't around. My old dog Flipper (who is buried by a tree near the river) and I used to wander the cattle trails thru the hills past trees polished as soft as fine furniture by the cows hides as they lumber past. Or we'd hike thru the brambles and sticker bushes to a secret water fall. Winter was the best time to visit the water fall.The air in the valley was always warmer than up on the hills which would make it like a pleasent fall day but and in the ravine where the falls were it would be icy cold. The water fell in a trickle over a small tree growing directly below the falls and the tree would be covered with icesicles. If you went on a sunny winter day at just the right time the sun would hit the tree and set the icesicles ablaze with light in the dark of the ravine. Pullman was a decent place to grow up. Crime was generally petty and mostly non-violent and the town has always seemed to hover somewhere between progress and stagnation. It's a agricultural community with a fairly large university so while for the city kids from Seattle it would be boring the town kids could usually find something to do. (to be cont.)

11.20.01

Alright...here's a update for ya.

We've moved outta G'Ville and now live in St.Augustine Florida.

I still play in dblWiDE... commute to G'Ville about once a week or so for practice or gigs. Leslie is a adjunct professor at Flagler College teaching a couple drawing classes and a intro to art for non-art majors class. One of her students just told her that his math class and her's are his hardest so she's happy. But the bigass news is that we are havin' a kid. Boy Child Comin'!

She's about 5 1/2 months along. Life is sweet. Except cat #3 named Slim is missing and assumed in cat heaven. He was a swell

cat that I loved very much but since we took him in off the street

he was still kinda feral. I'm sure domesticity was weird for him.

I'll sure miss him.

02-05-02

First off...Slim is dead. Found out a couple days

after the last post here. It was stinkin' bad out on

the back porch and I just thought it was the smell

of rot from the last time the back yard flooded but

Leslie gently corrected my by saying "No Honey...

that's the stink of death. Yr cat is dead under the

porch". Well she was right as usual. She found

his remains under the porch and thank God

within reach of the shovel. So I downed a big

glass of Dickel and a pounded a

couple cigarettes, put on the face mask and got

"him" out and buried him by the fence under a tree. He liked it out there.

Meanwhile our baby is still growing within.

We call him Peanut. 8 months and gettin' down to the wire. Supposed due date is 28Feb. It's all pretty freakin' exciting! Never cared much for little kids but now I look at 'em all and ask moms on the street about their baby's and such. My friend Stephen Davidson is adopted too and sez it's gonna completely blow my mind when I finally see something that looks like and is related to me. I don't doubt it. ps-I don't smoke anymore. Pray for me won't you? Only smoked like two a day for the last year but...ya can't be holdin' a baby while stinkin' of yr own death. Thanks God.

04/03/02

WEHADABABYITSABOY!

Roscoe William Robison Saunders was born 3/10/02 at 859A.

7.9lbs and 20" long and cute as the dickens. Whatever the dickens is. He was born without using drugs or even an IV which makes his mama Leslie a real badass in my book. I was there for all the labor and birth and cut the cord...and it was beyond words. We were blessed to have Leslie's sister Lori and her Mom here to help me/us .He's such an unbelievable joy. Only cries when he's wet or poopin' or gassy and who can blame him. I cry too when I'm gettin' my diaper changed. (just checkin' to see if paying attention).

So I type with Roscoe stuffed inside my robe all toasty and life is good.

Thanks again God.

12:23:03

My mom died today.

She had a stroke on the 16th while bowling. I'm fine.

Spent a week with her at Sacred Heart Hospital in

Spokane. The staff there was outstanding.

She never really came out of the stroke and

gradually slipped into a coma. Had she "lived"

she would have needed 24hr care and that was

not what she would have wanted. Thank God she

had the fore sight to have a living will although we

all knew what she wanted because she was never

shy about talking about death and perhaps that's

why her passing doesn't upset me as much as

it would other people who lose their Mom.

I'm comfortable with death.

Or so I say now. Like Bill Saroyan I always figured an exception

would be made in my case! This life is school for the next.

She was very active for a 65year old even tho she was 80. You'd never have guessed it. Learned to drive a tractor at the inn at Priest Lake (which she owned It's run by my brother Gary) last summer and he said she was was delighted by that. She loved to garden and was fantastic at it. She was a neat person. Tough and would hold a grudge to the next world. But she was my Mom and she loved me in spite of my failures and picked me out to be her kid which she didnt have to do. I'm glad I got a chance to apologize to her years ago for all the hell I raised and the heartache I caused her and my dad. The fucked part of it all..her dying...was waiting for her body to stop. No one want's to pray for their mom to die but I know she was gone 2days after I got to Spokane. it's the kindest thing you can do to give someone permission to pass on. I do believe in a afterlife and I do believe she's driving tractor in God's garden and taking care of the african violets. and I know she'll be there to meet me when it's my turn.

An interesting thing happened the night of the 23rd.

I had a bad headache and went to bed early. I couldn't sleep.

I tossed and turned and a song kept going thru my head over and over:

.....................................................................

Words and music: A.P.Carter

Will the Circle be Unbroken

I was (C) standing by my (C7) window on a (F) cold and cloudy (C) day,

When I saw the hearse come rolling for to carry my (G) mother away. (C)

Chorus:

Will the (C) circle be unbroken (C7) by and (F) by Lord by and (C) by.

There's a better home awaiting in the sky Lord (G7) in the (C) sky.

I said to the undertaker, "Undertaker please drive slow."

For the party you are hauling, Lord I hate to see her go."

Chorus

Oh, I followed close behind her, tried to hold up and be brave,

But I could not hide my sorrow when they laid her in her grave.

Chorus

I went back home, my home was lonesome, missed my mother she was gone.

All my brothers and sisters crying in our home so sad and alone.

Chorus

We sang the songs of childhood, hymns of faith that made us strong,

Ones that our mother had taught us, hear the angels sing along

Chorus

..................................................................................

My brother called me about 1030p to tell me it was all over.

My sister and his wife were by mom's side. I'm thankfull for that and i'm thankfull that as far as I know she went peacefully and I hope she's pleased with the way we all handled things. Now our house is empty and my dad lives with my sister Suzi. Whoever you are that reads this I hope you will pray for us and our mom and if yr not the praying kind then think kind thoughts about us and yr own family. That's all. Thank's Mom for being my Mom.

I love you and i'll miss you.

This Obit was written by my sisters and printed in the Moscow/Pullman Daily Newspaper.

Sue Saunders, Pullman resident

Ida Sue Saunders passed away on Monday, Dec. 23, in Spokane, Wash., after suffering a stroke at her Monday Bowling league on Dec. 16. Sue was born on May 13, 1922, to Allen and Leah Hewes in Yakima, Wash. She graduated from Onalaska High School and went on to attend what was then Washington State College (now WSU) and earn a B.S. in physical education in 1945.

She married Harold K. Saunders (Tobe) on Aug. 22, 1942, in Quantico, Va. Tobe and Sue lived in Pullman all of their lives. They owned Saunders Floor Covering until 1990, as well as the purchase of Cougar World Travel in 1988. They visited Priest Lake every year for over 40 years and in 1998 purchased the Inn at Priest Lake. Their son Gary is the Innkeeper. They traveled frequently to Hawaii and Fairmont Hot Springs in Canada, as well as to Rome, China, and the Panama Canal. They were active Cougar Club supporters and traveled to many Cougar games. Sue was an avid bowler, golfer and gardener and an unofficial stockbroker. She could walk by a patch of dirt and plants would sprout and flower. She collected geraniums from her friends and brought them in for the winter, to re-plant them in the spring. She also took loving care of our turtle, "George," who is now over 30 years old.

She was preceded in death by her mother Leah, father Allen, and brother Charles.

She is survived by her husband of 60 years, Harold K. Saunders, "Tobe"; brother Chet Hewes and wife Alda of Spokane, Wash.; four children, Gary and his wife, Kimberly Saunders, of Priest Lake, Idaho, Suzanne Johnson, of Kennewick, Wash., Lisa Butterworth of Moscow, Idaho, and Rick and wife, Leslie Robison, of St. Augustine, Fla. She has 10 grandchildren, Adrienne, Olivia, Alex and Keith Saunders, Scott, Korey and Rebecca Johnson; Gerry and Megan Butterworth, Roscoe William Saunders; and one great-granddaughter, Aspyn Kaiann Johnson.

1:10:03

My ex-wife Margaret registered her dismay with me for not mentioning our

"ill fated" marriage in my bio (1984). It was not mentioned only because I am loathe to admit my shame and failure. Duly noted and corrected my friend!

I say Friend with the utmost respect for her. I am blessed to have her as a friend inspite of my idiot past and am delighted that she still thinks kindly of me. She's a fine person with a lucky husband Fred and lovely daughter Kate.

9:2:03

Here's an update for you....tho I reckon anyone who would read this would surely know it by now...we don't live in St.Augustine FL anymore. Nope.

We've moved 3400 miles back home to Pullman and we are living in my parents home. My dad moved to a retirement apt in Kennewick near my sister Suzi and we came home to clear out the house of 50+ years of accumulated Stuff. How much stuff? Well we are 500lbs short of 2 tons to the dump and if you incl recyclying we are well over that. We are getting ready to have the 1st of a couple humungous yard sales soon and seperating stuff out for Ebay as well. Neither of us are working which is just as well as cleaning out the house could be considered a full time job. Between that and wrangling Roscoe that is. Who, by the way is just as cute and 18months old as can be. That's all for now. Come see us!

12.13.03 it's a Boy!

Some know some don't...we are having another baby!

We found out yesterday that we are having another boy.

Leslie is doing great and is 20months along. Roscoe went to see the ultrasound and pointed at Leslie's belly and said "Baby!"...so we figure he sortakinda gets it. Due date is 15Apr. Now we just got decide on a name!

06.03.04

Jeez i'm running behind BUT 2 kids will do that to a brother.

Otis Bruno Robison Saunders was born on Easter sunday at 438A

7.5lbs. everything went great and labor was fast as hell and drug free

just like Roscoe's. 'Cept Scobies labor was like 15rs and Otis flew out in about 4hrs. Of course an Otis web page will follow soon.

08.09.04

Some interesting news on the adoption side. I've hired a woman to search for my birth family. Sadly my birth-mother died in 1970. She was only 38.

I don't know the cause of death. But i've decided to contact my siblings (there are 5) and we'll see how that goes in the coming months. A friend remarked that I may have been put up for adoption but perhaps that was a blessing as I didn't have to go thru the horror of losing my Mom at age 10.

True enough. I hope my brothers and sisters made it ok. Peace to you.

09.26.04 my 44th birthday.

. . . a stone, a leaf, an unfound door; of a stone, a leaf, a door. And of all the forgotten faces.

Naked and alone we came into exile. In her dark womb we did not know our mother's face; from the prison of her flesh have we come into the unspeakable and imcommunicable prison of this earth.

Which of us has known his brother? Which of us has looked into his father's heart? Which of us has not remained forever prison-pent? Which of us is not forever a stranger and alone?

O waste of loss, in the hot mazes, lost, among bright stars on this most weary unbright cinder, lost! Remembering speechlessly, we seek the great forgotten language, the lost lane-end into heaven, a stone, a leaf, an unfound door. Where? When?

O lost, and by the wind grieved ghost, come back again.

--- Thomas Wolfe, Look Homeward, Angel

10.19.04

I have met all but one of my natural blood brothers and sisters.

this has been such a long time coming which is my fault. I put off searching for them and my birth mother/father for far too long. I didn't want to barge into anyone's life...and there was a little of being not sure how much I wanted them barging into mine,too. I was a fool. But after being inspired by my wonderful adopted sister Suzi and the success she had meeting her blood sister Billie Jo and with the support of my sister Lisa and of course Leslie I threw my hat into the ring and contacted an intermediary and got the ball rollin;.Now I feel kinda like a dumbass for waiting so long because they are such beautiful, kind, loving and caring people and were so thrilled to hear from me that I could kick myself for not getting in touch earlier.It's just been so much fun finding out how similar we are in so many ways that it makes you wonder if environment means much at all. So while I was too late to meet my birth mother (she passed when I was ten...and could you imagine losing yr mom at ten?! gawd.) or my birth father and losing my mom who raised me as well as my older brother that I was raised with (because he hasnt the cojones to even try to be my brother anymore (his loss) and because he's not ready to accept the asswhoopin' he so rightly deserves from me and that i've been waiting 44 years to administer...but I digress) God aka That Which Cannot Be Imagined has blessed me with Randy, Keary, Kristi, Steven, and Shelley. I hope to meet my new brother Steven this weekend as well as my neice Erika and soon my other nephews. Thank You God. Thank You Elaine.

5.5.05

ain't nuthin' much new under the sun. But at least there is some sun as we head out of spring into summer. I have now met all of my new sibs and they are just a treat. Turns out my brother Keary and I both attended the same Miles Davis show as well as Cocteau Twins show in Seattle. I've been over to his house when he has put on music that I thought only I listened to. They have all been down for the boys birthday parties (Otis is one now and Roscoe is three) or xmas n such . and we or I have met up with them in Seattle or Spokane . It's just been one of the greatest things ever to happen to lil' ol' me. I look frwrd to seeing any/All of my sibs again soon!

8.9.06

good heavens it's been forever since i've updated ME.

So much has happened. First of all we are back in St.Augustine FL after 3 years in Pullman WA. Leslie is a Professor at the college she she worked at before as an adjunct. Roscoe is 4 and going to pre-school and Otis is two and doing what two year olds do. I'm back working at the cd store I worked at before. My relationship has blossomed wonderfully with my biological sibs. They are just great and so much like me its freaky. I miss them so much. We also really miss Leslie's parents and our friends/family there in Pullman etc. and I miss my mom. a lot. More now than ever it seems. and my dad. My mom never got to meet Otis and she would love to see our house (we are homeowners now!). While we don't really have any real friends here we do have a good neighbor who is becoming a good friend. I'm not playing live music right now 'cuz I work nights. But I did jam with a guy the other night and it didnt take me too long to get back in the swing. sure miss being in a band tho. but life is good here. wonderful to go to the beach with the boys and to never shovel snow. Next summer we plan to go to a family reunion of my biological family in Utah and meets all sorts of relatives I never knew I had. we plan to drive out. thats all for now. If you know me i'd love to hear from you: ricksaunders at gmail dot com.